she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
