he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
