Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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