I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
