Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
