and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
