If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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