He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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