Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
