Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There r osticjed everywhere
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
