Don't make out with my wife yet
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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