Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize