after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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