No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
