There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Operation Purity has been aborted
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
