Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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