Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
