What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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