Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
