it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i came on her dog
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
