apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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