She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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