My nipple is on Facebook.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
