He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You can't special order awesome
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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