the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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