I'm really into asian looking animals
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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