but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
