D3 body, D1 cock
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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