don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
