it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize