Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize