I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
