I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
