i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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