I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im calling her cock vulture from now on
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
