My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
