Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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