Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
