he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
