he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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