Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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