yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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