3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
