The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
