If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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