I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
