I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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