...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I touched a dick in church today
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
