I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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