bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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