You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
