i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
