he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
