party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
