Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My vagina is very pro this idea
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
