then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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