on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
