1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
