Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
