D3 body, D1 cock
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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