bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
