Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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