last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
