I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
