Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
