take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
